Hee hee hee hee hee......
I'm sorry, but I just have to get on here quickly and explain what just happened.
So, this morning, my little Miss Ava was playing in the family room when she found a penny. She was very excited because we have always told her that--if she finds any coins lying around--she gets to put them in her piggy bank. That is one of her very favorite things to do right now. She has more money than I do.
Anyway...because she is TWO....she apparently thought that it would be a good idea to drop the penny down the front of her pajama pants. Don't ask me why she does the things that she does. I don't ask....because I enjoy the fodder that I consistently get for this blog and my own memory bank. She proceeded to freak out because she couldn't find her coin. She is literally running in a circle, holding the top of her pants open, and trying to get it to fall out. Okay....that was funny. Within minutes, though, the toddler attention span deficit kicked in, and she forgot all about it.
Now, fast forward about two hours later....
Here is the EXACT conversation that I just had with my daughter. Imagine.....Ava in the family room.....Mom in the kitchen (which overlooks the family room). Here we go:
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Ava: "Mommy. I have to go poopy!"
Me: "Okay, honey. Don't forget to wash your hands and turn off the light when you are done in the bathroom."
Ava: "Okay. Poopy! Poopy! I'm so essssited (excited....for those who are toddler-bonics challenged)!"
My thoughts:
Uh. Okay. I'm glad to hear that.
(I then hear Ava get up on her stool and crawl up on the big toilet. I am still in the kitchen.)
After several minutes of hearing her grunting and cleaning out her bowels, the conversation re-emerges.)
Ava: "Mommy! There are SO MANY poopies! I think eight!"
Me: "That's great honey! Don't forget to....."
Ava: "Hey! There's my penny! Mommy! I found my penny!"
Oh yeah....the penny, I thought.
Good for her.
Me: "Good job, Ava! We'll go put it in your piggy bank after you are done!"
(Enter the sound of a small splash quickly followed by toddler shrieking that was so loud, our dog jumped up and went to see what the problem was.)
Ava: "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! Oh no!"
Me: "What happened, honey?"
(At this point, I'm already grinning in the kitchen because I totally already know what just happened. The sick and twisted part of me just wanted to hear her say it because I knew it would sound funny.)
Ava: "I dropped my coin!"
Me: "On the floor? (snicker snicker)"
Ava: "No! In the potty water! And there is poopy EVERYWHERE!"
Me (laughing harder): "Just leave it alone, honey. I'll get you another coin upstairs, okay?"
Ava (in yelling sobs of horror): "There's so much poopy! I can't even see the penny in there anymore! The poopy ate it! My special coin is all GONE!"
Me (on the verge of wetting my pants): "Ava, don't worry about it! Just finish going to the bathroom, and mommy will get you a new, clean, coin to put in your piggy bank."
Ava: "It was an accident, mommy! Don't worry, I can get it!"
This is the point where you can imagine the scene in movies where the person starts running in slow motion while simultaneously yelling, "Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" I literally jumped from the top stair down onto the family room floor and sprinted to the bathroom.
"Don't touch the poopy! Don't touch the poopy!"
As I ran around the corner, there was my little girl....standing at the base of the toilet, pants still around her ankles, and her hand slowly lowering down toward the toilet bowl. I quickly scooped her up and immediately realized that she hadn't wiped yet. Fantastic....now my sleeves are covered in spots of urine.
I cleaned her up and walked her to the base of the staircase.
Me: "Okay, honey. You NEVER NEVER NEVER put your hand in the potty water, okay? Now let's go get you a new coin for your piggy bank."
Ava: "Okay. Just don't give it to me in the baf-room. The potty chair is hungry."
That was 30 minutes ago, and I'm still giggling. Two year olds are so awesome.
