I see my life as one big learning experience. I believe that it is important to continue to learn and grow as life teaches us important lessons. That being said, here is what this week alone has taught me:
1. Leftover bowls of Halloween candy are a tool of the devil and his unwielding hatred for my waistline.
2. Trying to teach a lesson in good manners to a two year old in the middle of a meltdown is an exercise in futility. It would be similar to buying home owner's insurance just after your house burned to the ground.
3. Skinny jeans don't make you skinnier. They just make you wish you were. Someone needs to put that on the tag or something.
4. I have succeeded in getting both of my children down for a nap at the same time EVERY DAY this week. I deserve a spa day...complete with chocolate covered cherries and being fanned with palm fronds. It upsets me that this isn't happening.
5. I'm jealous of my daughter because she gets to take a nice, warm, bubbly bath. I don't get to take a nice, warm, bubby bath.
6. I'm continuing to be amazed at the change of my son's poop now that he is eating solids. I've done this before--I should be used to this. I'm not. I'm used to my son's old, friendlier, poop, and I want it back. This poop frightens me.
7. In addition to the above statement, I have been educated on why, with Ava, I spent the extra money on the Diaper Genie and the required Diaper Genie bags that twist and smell like baby powder. I am using a different diaper pail with Parker--one that just uses your own existing kitchen bags and doesn't twist each diaper into a odor-eliminating, sausage link-looking roll (you know who you are). As economically pleasing as this is, I almost black out now from the stench in my son's room when I walk by it. I'm afraid to close the door if he is in there napping for fear that the fumes may overwhelm his ability to breathe. No amount of cost savings is worth the horror that my nose endures when I'm trying to put away his laundry. I'm going back to you, dearest Diaper Genie, and I am so sorry that I ever doubted you (hangs head in shame).
8. My son eats more food than any eight month old in the history of the world. It's a good thing that I will be going back to work when he enters school. I'll need that money for no other reason than to keep that child from eating my vertical blinds.
9. If I'm in the bathroom and changing my clothes near a mirror, I suck in my stomach to make myself look thinner....even if I am the only adult in the entire house. Who am I trying to convince? I'm so ridiculous.
10. I now know that I should never feed my son his baby food while simultaneously eating my Honey Nut Cheerios. Yes, I forgot what was on what spoon when and shoveled a giant spoonful of pureed pea and brown rice blend into my mouth. There is nothing harder than realizing what you've done and having to swallow it in front of your child (to show how--gag, urp--"yummy" it is) when you are faced with the sudden urge to re-create that scene from The Exorcist. Keeping that "Mmmmmm....this is delicious" smile on my face should warrant me an academy award. I'm sorry that you have to eat that, Parker. Mommy loves you.
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I am soooo with you on these, all of these! It's crazy having two little ones, huh? Mine are 2 yrs 7 months and 5 months old. About the same age spread as your two, I think. I so understand all of this. It's nice to know we're not alone. And it's so fun to get to catch up with you on your blog. I have a blog too, but I rarely get to it. :(
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